The Night Before Fitzmas
(with apologies to Clement Clark Moore):
Twas the night before Fitzmas, in the Senate and House
all the Democrats were stirring; Teddy Kennedy was soused
The indictments were hung around Howard Dean`s lair
in the hopes to get Rove in a defendent`s chair
and with Dick in his turban and Byrd in his sheet
Harry Reid fairly drooled over Dr. Frist`s seat.
Then from high on the Hill there arose such a blather
all the Democrats thought that it must be Dan Rather.
Away to the pressroom they flew, oh so fast
for Fitzgerald was coming with indictments at last!
With Bill`s hand on the breast of a fresh young intern
The Dem`s all awaited the Grand Jury`s return.
Then the cameras did roll and old Fitz spoke his piece
and the Democrat hopes soon began to decease
``In the matter of Plame``, Fitz was forced to confess,
``only one can I name, though I`ve sure done my best``.
Then what in the Democrats eyes should appear
but a look of despair and a river of tear
a wail from Pelosi and a sob from Dick Durbin
Uncle Ted so upset he downed a full gallon of bourbon.
Fitz looked like a peddler as he opened his brief
sad though he was to have brought liberals to grief
Scooter Libby he named, with a wink in his eye
``He was all I could get, all the Jury would buy.``
He spoke at great length as he went `bout his work
he bragged of his strength, and how Bush is a jerk
and moving his tie to the side of his neck
he tried hard to make good of his Grand Jury train wreck.
Chuck Schumer was glum, Biden beat on his chest
while old Ted drank a case of cold Milwaukee`s Best
Then, with a bow, Fitz fairly ran out the door
leaving shock and dismay and Ted drunk on the floor
And I heard them all say as Fitz fled from their sight
``Fitzmas sure was a bust-except for those on the Right!``